I spoke to Ms. Wanda on the phone when I was in Michigan as a resident physician. I was concerned about accepting a job in a rural part of North Carolina because I was not sure that I would get loan repayment help. I distinctly remember her calming voice talking with me as if we were old friends. Probably more accurately, as if she was my auntie, reassuring me that it was all going to be alright. I have to admit, that speaking to her made me feel excited to come to North Carolina. Her slight little southern accent had every bit of the stereotypical southern hospitality in it. After speaking to her only once I felt at ease with taking the position, and I also felt more sure of other decisions to be made. These are times where no one wants to make any promises and no one wants to take responsibility for telling you something wrong, which can leave a young doctor getting ready to graduate uncertain and even scared about what lays aheadbin the future. Ms. Wanda spoke with such assertiveness and with such experience, the comfort she brought to me was just priceless. I had never met her in person, bit called her many times. She was always so accessible. In fact she invited me to call her any time at all with any question at all. She seemed to always know the answers too! I never hesitated to call her with questions. I ended up speaking about her frequently to my husband. "Well, Ms. Wanda says that this is how it's going to work.....", always as if she was my church friend or something. A few weeks ago, I found myself with another question for her and thought to myself, "Ah! Ms. Wanda will know the answer to this!" I was quite excited actually, because I had not spoken to her in a long time, probably a year...sine I started my job here on rural North Carolina actually. I was so excited to tell her about how obese doing and see how she was. Funny, that I somehow knew she would remember me. Actually, the thought that she might not remember me didn't even occur to me. There was always something so personal about her that made me feel so special to her. After I called several times, leaving messages, I didn't know what to think. I felt hurt. How could Ms. Wanda not call me back? Isn't she just as excited to speak to me? I knew she must not be in the office, bit for all this time? Finally, I reluctantly called and left a message with another person in the office, quintile me that she was out on leave. I immediately said to myself out loud, oooh, that makes sense then. My thoughts turned to her enjoying some Mich needed restful time with her family, and I even smiled to myself thinking of her with perhaps adult children. Of course I don't know anything about her personal life. But still I just guessed that wad what she deserved to be doing. Yesterday, her colleague was kind enough to tell me over the phone that Ms. Wanda had passed. The news truly took me by suprise. I seemed to go through all the stages of grief in maybe 20 seconds. I even became angry for a moment thinking, how can I continue figuring out my loan repayments without knowing I can go to her to help me through?? I had a student sitting beside me and had been in the middle of discussing some patient's condition when I received the call. Tears welled up in my eyes, as I hung up the phone. I turned to the student and tried to explain who Ms. Wanda was to me, but as I heard myself, it just didn't do her justice. It even seemed to sound silly that I had to wipe tears for someone I have never met and never even spoke to on the phone that much. But yet, Ms. Wanda was that to me. If she touched my life so passionately with a few phone calls then I can only imagine what those closest to her could say about her. I will end with saying the typical, she will be missed terribly. And I do miss her. Terribly.